COUPLES COUNSELING WON'T STOP THE VIOLENCE

Your partner may try to get you to go to couples counseling, telling you that you and he need to work on this together. He may encourage you to go to pastoral counseling with him. If he has done this, then he is refusing to take full responsibility for his abusive behavior. He may be manipulating you into staying with him by taking this approach. His abusive behavior is not likely to stop unless he acknowledges that you are in no way responsible and that he has a problem that he needs to seek help for regardless of whether you stay with him or not.

Remember: Old habits die hard. Your partner's abusive behavior is rooted in a desire to control your relationship, and that pattern isn't going to change overnight. You may be so hopeful for change that you want to believe him, even if things don't feel very different. Trust your instincts. If you don't feel safe, then chances are, you're not.