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MALE SURVIVORS The type of behavior that constitutes sexual abuse is the same for males and females. It includes any sexual contact or sexual attention committed by force, threats, bribes, manipulation, pressure, tricks, or violence. Sexual abuse can take many forms including child molestation, rape, attempted rape, incest, and sexual harassment. Abusers of young males are often family members, but like abusers of adult males they can be strangers, acquaintances, friends, or others. In our society, males have traditionally been portrayed as always strong, invulnerable, unemotional, and in control. As a result, many view males as incapable of being victimized, particularly in a sexual way. Yet males of all ages, sizes, strengths, looks, personalities, and sexual orientations are victims of sexual violence. In fact, research indicates that 1 in 7 boys are sexually abused by their 18th birthday and still more are victimized in adulthood. Males, like females, experience lasting effects and emotional pain as a result of being victimized. Yet, male survivors of sexual abuse rarely receive the attention that females do. If you are a male victim of rape or sodomy, you may feel alone. Many people believe that rape is a womens issue; therefore, the shock of the assault you have experienced may be very upsetting and difficult to accept. You may experience some of the same emotions and feelings that female survivors have; however, there are some special issues that may be different for you:
You need to know that you have done nothing that justifies this violent attack. This assault has nothing to do with your present or future sexual orientation. The myth that male rape involves homosexuality may affect the way you are treated by friends and family members. Societal beliefs and your own confusion concerning the assault may also affect the way you feel about yourself. It is possible you will need special support. You may want to:
It is important that you know that Turning Point offers support and referrals to both men and women.
MYTH: Boys and men cant be victims. FACT: Males are not invulnerable to sexual abuse simply because they are males. Both boys and men are victimized, often by older males who are physically stronger or in positions of authority over them. MYTH: Most sexual abuse of boys is perpetrated by homosexual males. FACT: Most pedophiles who molest boys are heterosexual. Their abuse is not an expression of homosexuality any more than the sexual abuse of girls is an expression of heterosexuality. It is an act of violence, power, and control. MYTH: Boys are less effected by the abuse than girls. FACT: Studies show that the long term effects of sexual abuse are damaging for both males and females. Both may experience emotional trauma for many years after the abuse. MYTH: Boys abused by males will become homosexual. FACT: Males who are sexually abused by other males do not become homosexual simply as a result of the abuse. Sexual orientation is a complex issue and is not likely determined by any single influence. Lowered Self Esteem - may find it hard to feel good about oneself or achieve all that one is capable of. Lack of Feeling - may have no emotional response or feel nothing at all; may feel numb all the time. Extreme Feelings - may feel angry or sad all the time, even when good things happen; may have difficulty expressing intense emotions associated with the abuse. Relationship Problems - may feel isolated; may have difficulty trusting others or believing that others realty care; may be difficult to get close to others. Sexual problems - may not want to be sexual at all or may want to have sex with almost anyone and not know why; may be confused about ones sexuality. Cognitive Problems - may have problems concentrating or remembering: may have flashbacks or nightmares, panic attacks, excessive fears, or thoughts or fears of abusing others. * Male survivors commonly experience other difficulties in addition to those listed here. |