Sexual Assault - Myths and Facts

MYTHS AND FACTS

Sexual Assault is a term referring to a spectrum of assault-rape, attempted rape, incest, indecent exposure, child molestation, acquaintance/date rape, and forced sexual contact. All are against the law. When you have experienced sexual assault, it is normal to have many fears and anxieties about what happened. Knowing the facts about sexual assault may enable you to deal more effectively with your concerns. “Myths” are false beliefs that society holds about sexual assault.

*MYTH:*	It will not happen to me.
*FACT:*	Anyone can be a victim of rape. This crime knows no boundaries. People hold strongly to this myth because it offers them a false sense of security. The truth is, people of all ages, races, socioeconomic groups and religious affiliations have been victims of rape.

*MYTH:*	Only women can be raped.
*FACT:*	Men can also be victims of rape. Faced with a gun or knife, most people will think only of surviving and not of the actual sexual assault. Men have been victimized by individual male assailants, gang raped by a group of male assailants, or in rare instances, by a woman.

*MYTH:*	Rape is a sexual crime, where the attacker is seeking sexual gratification.
*FACT:*	Rape is a crime of violence in which sex is used as the weapon. The rapist attacks the victim seeking power and control. Satisfaction is gained from dominating and humiliating the victim. Rape is never a crime of passion.

*MYTH:*	Rape happens in dark alleys, by strange men who jump out of bushes.
*FACT:*	Although some rapes do happen in dark, secluded areas, the majority of rapes happen in and around your home. Statistics also show that "stranger rapes” are few in number. It is much more likely that you will know your assailant. A rapist can be anybody.

*MYTH:*	Rapists are usually outcasts from our society.
*FACT:*	Most rapists appear to be “normal” men in our society. Most rapists are young and are either married or having ongoing, “normal” sexual relationships. Rapists come from all races, religions, and socioeconomic groups.

*MYTH:*	If a woman dresses sexy, she is asking for “it”.
*FACT:*	Again, people believe this myth so that they do not have to admit they, too, could become a victim. The thought process being, “I do not dress sexy, so I will never be raped.” The fact is that a woman has the right to dress in any way she chooses. Her choice of clothing in NO WAY grants permission or invites rape. This thought process can also be applied to other myths, such as “She was raped because of the places she goes, the people she hangs out with, or the amount of makeup that she wears.” No victim has ever asked to be raped. It is important to remember that rape is the responsibility of the rapist, not the victim.

*MYTH:*	Most rapes are interracial.
*FACT:*	Statistics show that you are much more likely to be raped by a person of the same racial background.

*MYTH:*	Women fantasize about being raped.
*FACT:*	It is true that we all fantasize. Fantasies are situations in which we have control to continue or end at any given moment. Rape, on the other hand, is a situation in which we are not in control. It is important to remember that rape is an undesirable, aggressive act with a person with whom we are not in a consenting sexual relationship.

*MYTH:*	If women would just fight, they could avoid being raped.
FACT:	When faced with fear, people react in a variety of ways. Rapists often mentally overpower a victim by using threats of violence, death, or injury to the victim’s children or loved ones. ALL victims do the best they can to live through and survive the attack. Fighting vs. not fighting is an individual decision that must be made in a split second. It does not help to second guess any actions made at the time of the attack. No one plans to be raped.

MYTH:	If a woman does not look like a rape victim, she really has not been raped.
FACT:	This myth goes hand in hand with “If a woman would fight. she could not be victimized.” Many people want to think that most victims look like the actresses on TV who have multiple cuts and bruises: women who have had their clothes ripped off and who have been beaten. In reality, people who have been victimized do not fit any visual stereotype. People react differently. This myth helps foster the false sense of security people have when they believe that they could have avoided the same situation by doing something differently. The fact is that a woman who resists can be raped and that a woman can be a rape victim and not have any outward signs of victimization. When faced with a gun or knife, most people freeze. Many rapes that do not involve weapons often involve some type of coercion, either subtle or blatant. If an assailant were to threaten a family member or loved one, most people would consent to save the lives of those they love. Whatever the situation, if a person lives through a victimization, she or he did the right thing.

*MYTH:*	A person who has been drinking alcohol, using drugs, or dancing seductively is asking to be raped.
*FACT:*	No one ever asks to be raped. For sex to be legal, both parties must be of age and consenting. Both parties must be able to mentally, emotionally, physically, and verbally choose to engage in the sexual activity. Vulnerable behaviors do not excuse the criminal behaviors of another person. The sexual appearance and/or seductive behaviors of a person DO NOT equal consent.

*MYTH:*	I know about rape, because I once heard a talk about it. Now I am sure that it will never happen to me.
*FACT:*	People hold strongly to this myth because it gives them a sense of false security. Rape is a crime of power and control. Victims come from every walk of life. Statistics vary, but some have indicated that one rape occurs every sixty-six (66) seconds across the United States, and that one woman in four will be sexually assaulted during her life. The rapist can be a stranger, acquaintance, coworker, friend, spouse, or relative. Rape can happen at any time and in any place. Maybe someday these facts will be better understood and the myths will no longer prevail. Hopefully, someday people will understand and accept the reality that we are all potential victims.

*MYTH:*	If a man has forced sex with a woman on a date, it is not legally considered rape.
*FACT:*	Sex without consent is legally defined as rape. Dating does not give a man the right to force his sexual desires onto another person. A woman may choose to go out on a blind date, go to a man’s house/apartment for dinner, or enter into a long term relationship with one person (including marriage); however, none of these situations allow a man to demand or force sex. One additional point, a woman may have had other sexual experiences or may have previously had sex with a man whom she is dating, but every experience is different and saying yes on one date does not mean that you need to say yes on every date. “No” means “No” and any form of force equals rape.

*MYTH:*	Rape is an impulsive, uncontrollable act of sexual gratification.
FACT:	This myth is sustained by those who argue that most rapes are spontaneous—that is, a sexually frustrated man sees an attractive woman and just can’t control himself. In fact. the majority of rapes are planned rather than being spontaneous. The rapist does not choose the victim because she is young, pretty, or provocatively dressed: he chooses a woman who is vulnerable. He may select a woman who is smaller or weaker than he is, who is alone, who is handicapped in some way, or who does not suspect what is about to happen. All evidence indicates that rape is a brutal act of violence and a display of power, rather than an act of passion or sexual gratification.