WHY DID THIS HAPPEN?

You are probably wondering why this happened.  Let us start with this fact:  It was NOT because of anything you did or said. You did not deserve it and you did not “ask for it”.  The act of rape is the responsibility of the rapist.  Why, then?  Why do men rape?  As you can probably guess, there is not one clear answer.  Rape is an act of violence.  For some men, it is a way to humiliate, to gain power and control over someone, to express rage or hatred.  For some, it may be a way of getting back at women for a perceived wrong, a way of getting revenge.

Men who rape come from every social class, occupation, background, race, religion, and region.  Over 80% of the time, a woman knows or has seen the man who raped her.  Most rapists appear to be perfectly normal men.  Some men who rape are often found to have been sexually abused or traumatized themselves as children.  For some, violence is a behavior that they learned from their parents.  One very common factor among sex offenders is that they tend to have very low self-esteem.  They are insecure about their masculinity and feel that they have to prove themselves.

Another common factor is that they seldom take responsibility for their violent actions.  They tend to blame the victim and often contribute to her feeling of guilt, while feeling very little guilt himself.  Rapists have much to gain by perpetuating the lie that the victim is responsible.