Date Rape

ACQUAINTANCE/DATE RAPE

WHAT IS DATE RAPE?

If a person you know physically or emotionally forces you into sex it’s called Acquaintance Rape or Date Rape. Date Rape is the most common kind of Acquaintance Rape and it consists of forced sexual contact by one person on another in a dating relationship. Acquaintance Rape and Date Rape are both types of sexual assault. Sexual assault is any unwanted sexual contact or sexual attention committed by:

•	Force
•	Threats
•	Bribes
•	Manipulation
•	Pressure
•	Tricks
•	Violence

ROGER AND VALERIE

Roger and Valerie had known each other since 6th grade so it seemed only natural that they would end up dating in high school. They seemed to have such a wonderful relationship.

On the night of their Junior Prom, Roger took Valerie out to a very expensive meal. Later, they danced and had a great time at the prom. The night had been just as perfect as the entire two months that they had dated.

After they left the prom and they were alone, they began kissing. Roger had been such a gentlemen in the past, but this time he began to pressure Valerie. Valerie suggested they stop, but Roger didn't listen. Roger forced himself on her. Valerie didn't know what to do. At first she tried to push him away, but he was too strong. In fear, she froze, unable to speak or move.

The next day, Roger couldn't understand why Valerie was so upset. Valerie refused to speak to him or see him. After talking about it with a good friend Valerie contacted her local rape crisis center.

Girls and Guys

•	Set limits. Decide what you want to do sexually. How far is far enough? What is too much?
•	Talk to each other. Don’t assume your date will automatically know how you feel. If you get double messages, stop and talk about it.
•	Be assertive. Say what you mean. It’s OK to make a scene or be rude if someone is sexually pressuring you.
•	Be aware of peer pressure. Forced sexual activity does not make you a man.
•	Don't make assumptions about what she want. Ask if you are uncertain.
•	Be alert and in charge. Know that alcohol and drugs can affect you and your partner’s ability to make responsible decisions.
•	Trust your feelings. If a situation feels uncomfortable, trust your gut feelings and get out of the situation quickly.
•	Guys can be sexually assaulted. Male victims of sexual assault have the same rights to counseling, services, and legal actions as female victims.
•	Sexual contact without consent or after a girl says, “NO” is a CRIME.
•	Women of all races are equally vulnerable to attacks by intimates.
•	1 in 7 married women are raped by their husbands.
•	One out of every six American women have been the victims of an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime (National institute of Justice and Ctrs. For Disease Control and Prevention, 1998,)
•	In 1999, one in every 10 rape victims was male. (1999 NCVS)
•	In 1996, only 31 % of rapes and sexual assaults were reported to law enforcement officials, less than one in every three. (US. Dept of Justice)
•	Only about 1 in 10 sexual assault victims reports the crime committed against them.
•	FBI statistics list the false report rate for rape as only 2%, the same as the rate for other felonies.
•	Only one percent of male students who rape are prosecuted. (US Dept of Justice)

Rape is a growing threat and the best defense is to be aware and prepared. With increased education and awareness hopefully your risk of becoming a crime victim will be reduced.

The best way to avoid a dating disaster is to know what a healthy relationship is.

	*Healthy Relationships*
•	Two people respect each other.
•	No one dominates the relationship, no one is submissive.
•	They agree to disagree.
•	You feel good about yourself.
•	You see and accept your partner’s faults.
•	You are comfortable together—and apart.

	In a relationship I have the right to:
•	An equal relationship with anyone I choose.
•	Act one way with one person and a different way with someone else.
•	Change my mind whenever I want to.
•	Reject unwanted attention.
•	Start a relationship slowly.
•	Say, “I want to know you better before I get more involved.”
•	Be myself without changing to suit others.
•	Change a relationship when my feelings change.
•	Say, “We used to be close, but I want something else now.”
•	Not want physical closeness.
•	Say “NO.”